A phase

When I look at all the patterns I have made so far, I am quite proud of each and every one of them. Look at them, so many (and I even forgot a few), that is about three years of designing in that picture!

amigurumi patterns

But lately I’ve been so critical about my designs that I am having a hard time finishing them. This must be something every designer goes through every once and a while. Maybe it is just the soggy weather and the grey of winter that makes me judge my work differently.

It started when I was working on my tortoise pattern. I made this gorgeous looking shell, that would be a bit difficult to assemble. And because I couldn’t write it down perfectly scientifically, I had to re-think it so I fooled around with it for a while and did not enjoy it. Then I saw this picture of a gorgeous looking American red squirrel and decided I was going to set aside the tortoise and make a new squirrel that made me all excited. I started all enthusiastic but soon afterwards doubted every part I made. I guess designing the realistic animals got me into this phase. Because now, when I’m designing a doll, I’m not sure anymore how realistic it should look. These crochet animals must look like the real animal for sure, but they also should be a bit more whimsical and playful looking, well you’ve just seen my Popkes. When I look at my sweet little squirrel face, I’m thinking ‘isn’t this looking too complicated?’ or ‘isn’t this head too small, should I make a more round and basic head?’. It’s annoying, I’m doubting my every move, while I can clearly see what I came up with isn’t looking bad at all.

The best thing to do is to just keep working on it. Today I made a very smart looking tail, which doesn’t need pipe cleaners in it to make it look bended. And the body I made has a very formidable looking light belly, so I suppose I am just being a bit too hard on myself. I will just continue working on this sweetie and assemble a prototype. When that is finished I can decide if I find this squirrel whimsical and characteristic enough and if anything needs to be changed.

Yes, that is a good plan. See you when it is finished dear crafters!

10 Comments

  1. Hello Sonja, I had and still have the same problem, too. This year, I wanted to make a small rabbit. I wanted the rabbit lying with all the legs stretched out with a natural look. Now here it starts: First I started the body with the legs crocheted to it. In the end it became a sitting rabbit. I did not like the head, so again. Then I started by the head and then I crocheted the body, now my sleeping bunny looked like a seal. So again … I have worked two weeks on this rabbit and now I have 3 different versions and I don*t even like one of them. The rabbit project is now in the closet, where it may remain for some time. You see: You are not alone, I feel the same 😉
    All the best regards from Karin (Amilovesgurumi)

    • Sonja says:

      Hi Karin,

      So you too? I think it is normal to have such periods as designers, writers and artists. We constantly are creating new things and it is only natural to want to improve your skills and results all the time. Sometimes it is just a bit harder than other times.

      Looking forward to seeing your rabbit! It sounds lovely and indeed a bit complicated to design.

      X

  2. Jan says:

    It sounds as if you need to give yourself a bit of ‘pamper’ time, Sonja! This really is just a phase, not helped by the dreariness of the weather, I’m sure. Your creations are unique and wonderful and I am in awe of your endless creativity and skill, but I expect it comes at a price, so give yourself a break (literally and figuratively!) and all will come together. We can wait. We hardly ever give our Popkes away, so we can enjoy our creations until you can stun us with another one. Big hugs. xx

  3. Rhonda says:

    Look at all those wonderful popkes! I really admire a person who has the patience and vision to create these creatures and write patterns for them. It would be so frustrating to do the work and not be quite happy with what you’ve got and then have to start again. And it’s always difficult if your finished product isn’t living up to the vision you started with – however, WE don’t know what that vision was, so we are just thrilled with what you’ve created. (It reminds me of someone I know who brings delicious baked goods to my group every week. She is NEVER happy with how they’ve turned out, and I’m sure it’s because she had an expectation that wasn’t met. But everything is absolutely delicious!) I also agree winter can be a difficult time to be creative. When the new little spring plants start popping up, hopefully your popkes will begin popping, too.

    • Sonja says:

      Thanks Rhonda, lovely to see you!

      To quote you “WE don’t know what that vision was, so we are just thrilled with what you’ve created.”

      You are completely right and I know that, but I think that when creative persons like your friend and I aren’t satisfied enough with our result, it makes us feel insecure about it, despite knowing what you’ve just said. It’s silly. And it feels like cheating too somehow, publishing something which I’m not proud (enough) off knowing my ‘fans’ will like it anyway. That doesn’t feel right. I couldn’t do that.

      This all sounds like I’m having a crisis almost, it really is not that bad. I’m just a bit too critical lately. I’m still having lots of ideas and am excited to express them. I think it’s basically that I want my new realistic animals to look as realistic as possible and the ‘Popkes’ a bit less. And to actually find my way doing that is new and therefor difficult.

      And how am I looking forward to green popping out! We are having the most soggy winter ever here in the NL, it is raining practically every day, and those grey skies alllllll the time 😕. Winter can be a beautiful season, when it is crisp and frosty, but this….

      How’s your winter so far?

  4. Rhonda says:

    Well, I know it’s very frustrating to not be able to get something to be quite the way you want it, and I can relate to “perfectionist” kind of feelings. (I myself feel like I’m faking it if someone says I’m doing something well unless I feel inside that I am, indeed, doing well.)

    Our days have gotten very mild and sunny lately (not to make you jealous) after awhile of being quite gray with no rain. Today we went for a walk in the green hills of a park we’d never been to before. But we need rain! I just read that a lot of Southern California is back in a drought, including a “severe drought” where my sister lives, down in the town of Santa Barbara.

    I hope you have sunny days very soon – or at least the beautiful, crisp, frosty ones.

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